Thank you for smoking.

I may or may not have mentioned it before, but it seems as though EVERYONE here in Trier smokes. Luckily, most establishments prohibit smoking indoors, but there are still some that allow it; as best as I can discern, it is against the law to allow smoking inside, but many law enforcement agents do not enforce it. Either way, any gathering I attend ends with me leaving feeling as though I’ve smoked a carton, and all my clothes reek of smoke.

I find this highly odd considering the Germans’ general thoughts towards healthcare; they are quick to point out how wonderful European Union healthcare systems are, how generally obese Americans are, and how healthy their dietary habits are (eat most in the morning to work it off throughout the day). Yet still, they will be doing so while holding a cancer stick. It’s baffling to me… in any event, that is one thing I could live without.

Moving on, I thought that, being that I focused on the social aspects of college life this week, I may need to comment on some of the aspects of the theoretical reason I’m here in the first place: school. It’s a stretch, I know.

So, why not begin with something quite common in all of my classes save two: presentations. Because most of my classes are “seminars,” a core component of each is student participation, primarily in the form of presentations. First, it’s interesting how much each of my English-speaking professors emphasize the need to practice presentations “to keep up with America.” I guess this is not something I had ever considered, but apparently Germans are far less used to giving oral presentations in class or other settings. This being said, you couldn’t tell (for the most part) that the students are ill equipped to deal with these situations.

The presentations themselves, though, are almost all identical in organization no matter what the topic is. All of them are highly structured, beginning with a dedicated introduction including a specific outline, highly ordered information following that outline model, and a specific closing restating the key points of the original outline. Many (if not most) presentations that I have heard thus also state the precise duration of the presentation the person is about to give. Needless to say, it’s typical of the structure Americans stereotype as existing in German culture.

I’d go so far as to say it’s a bit unnerving; the exact order and structure, in my opinion, overshadows the purpose of the presentation itself in that the audience tends to focus more on the organization of the report than the content itself. All of my professors also stress the importance of the content over the delivery, something quite different from speech and presentation instructors in America; if someone’s presentation cannot hold our attention in America, we don’t bother listening to the content no matter how interesting it is. But maybe that’s just me.

I suppose this distinct style is conducive of the process of learning English still, along with different mentalities on how people perceive others in a presentation setting. Still, the lack of fluidity tied with the notion that students should learn to do presentations to compete with Americans is a bit ironic to me.

Other notes pertaining to classes thus far: I have had at least two professors discuss the idea of speaking in “active voice” as opposed to “passive voice,” something common in the classes I have taken in America as well. However, both professors I have heard on this topic use different definitions of “active voice” than I am used to; “we are going” is considered active here, whereas my understanding of the style would state “we go” as a more active manner. Interestingly, different experts on the same subject teach different meanings for the same idea.

Touching back on political correctness (or lack thereof), I literally had a speech professor tell me yesterday that we should (and I quote) “go hit up a bar before coming to give [our] presentation[s]. Germans are notorious for being boring speakers, and I do not want to fall out of my chair after falling asleep.” I love it. This teacher is from South Africa, and no one or nothing is off limits.

Oh, and the Germans (like everyone in Europe it seems) do not much care for the French. Entire classes have revolved around the insanity of the French and their public policy. It’s quite amusing to me…

Another funny/strange thing to me: I’ve mentioned before that you can buy beer in vending machines on campus. Well, yesterday there was an exhibition of the local technical school’s work (which greatly resembled a SCAD art exhibit), and the number of people walking through the halls of the school building carrying glass bottles of beer would appall your grandmother most likely. I find it amazing that, as Americans, we are so surprised by this European way of thinking; what are we, still in the ages of the Puritans?

One more note on Uni, being that I just came from this place: the library. Although *literally* the only thing I can think of that is politically incorrect in Germany is to call something/someone “Nazi,” I am going to have to say that Universitat Trier’s library is a Nazi establishment. Why? Well, aside from the one-door entry I complained about a few weeks ago, the rules in the Bibliothek are as strict as I have ever conceived. Not only can you not bring in a bag of any form (laptops even must be taken out of their bags and carried in after storing the bags in a locker room), but you also must visually prove to the librarians that you have no books with you when you leave the guided ques in and out of the building. And they’re serious. I cannot count how many times some old librarian has yelled at me in German over something I was holding, even though I haven’t the faintest idea why.

If you want to carry in a bottle of water, you better bring pants with deep pockets and stash it in there, too… none of this would bother me so much if the technology in the library ever worked properly. But I’ve griped about that already, so I’ll move on.

I somehow managed to lose my glasses the week before last, and thus ended up a few days legally blind before getting a friend of mine to help me go find glasses in Trier. To my amazement, aside from the language barrier it was quite easy! In America, thanks in part to our brilliant past president Bush’s law saying you must get an optometrist to give you a medical eye test and vision check every so often, you cannot just show up at a lens store and get glasses; you must have a prescription much like you would if you wanted amphetamines or something. Doesn’t make much sense to me, but whatever.

In Germany, however, you do not need all of this ridiculousness. Simply show up at any place that sells glasses, they’ll do a vision test on you for free—if you want them to. Otherwise, just tell them your needed prescription (which I knew), and they’ll make you glasses. Easy as pie. Of course, thanks to our brilliantly performing US Dollar, it cost me a bit more than a cup of tea: 156 Euros, or $250 for a cheap pair of glasses. But hey, I feel like I got a deal being that A) I’m not running into buildings anymore, and B) the glasses I got were from the kinder (child) department, so they’re literally flexible enough to bend in half and they snap right back. Win for me.

Here’s another topic I have yet to discuss: essentials to know in Germany. While there are many, I believe there are two you absolutely should realize prior to coming. First, the bathroom. No, there is not a sign that says “bathroom,” “restroom,” or even “toilet,” as is the most common literal conveyance of a bathroom. Reach back into the pages of history and remember the term “water closet.” Why? Because almost every public restroom is denoted simply as “WC” in all capital letters. Once you manage to find this WC, don’t assume it’s separated by sexes, either; while many have the universal symbols of the stick women and men to denote the gender, it is not uncommon to have unisex restrooms. Just a friendly heads up; even my dorm has both unisex restrooms and showers (funnily named “douche zimmers,” or shower rooms).

My second recommendation: realize before you come that if you order/buy water [wasser, pronounced “VASS-er”] anywhere in Germany (and much of Europe, as I understand), it’s likely to be fizzy/carbonated. Personally, I can’t stand the taste of it, but unless you ask for “still” water [the word for which seems to vary, but I usually say “STH-ul”], you’re going to get champagne without the good taste. Water fountains are hard to come by, too; in fact, I couldn’t name the first one I have seen since arriving in Trier. Here, be prepared to pay more for a water (carbonated or not) than you do for a beer.

With those key things to remember out of the way, I’ll briefly detail the past week. For starters, I must again denote my amazement at how interested Germans are with meeting Americans. Randomly walking down the street last Friday night, I got grabbed by three random German girls studying law and dragged into a law fraternity party they were hosting. I didn’t even know Germans had fraternities, but apparently I was mistaken. They were brilliantly smart, as one would guess from being law students, yet still knew how to have a good time as all Germans do. One had even lived in Minnesota for a year, and could not tell me enough how it was the best year of her life. I guess it stands to reason that, just as I am having the time of my life abroad, Germans staying in America would have a likewise response to the new environment.

The rest of the week entailed the [now] usual series of events: a few barbeques in the park, socializing for dinner, gathering for a few drinks after classes… in other words, the high life. Yesterday, however, did stand out a bit in that as I was walking down the street, I discovered a few of my friends had taken a random couch which had been put out onto the sidewalk by an unwanting former owner. Discarding of furniture and other items is quite common this way; place it on the sidewalk, allow passerby people to pick what they want [which is illegal for some reason, yet not enforced just as the smoking ban indoors], and the city picks up the rest. 

Anyway, my friends were using it as a bench to drink beer under a random picnic table. Whilst doing this, they were playing  a game on the paper coasters given with every beer in Germany which *literally* entailed judging the size of the breasts of any lovely lady that walked past them. What’s even funnier is that there were several girls among them. Again, political correctness and shyness towards traditional American taboos such as sex and drinking simply have no meaning here. I love it.

Well, I’ve gabbed enough for one sitting. I’m in the process of trying to plan several more trips in the next few weeks, possibly one to Madrid or Greece. For now, though, I’m off to England for five days to visit my friend who stayed with me last week! This will be my first experience both taking a coach (bus) shuttle to an airport and flying with one of Europe’s “low cost” airlines: Ryanair. We shall see what happens…